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Why Has God Left Me?

Posted by Depressed 
Depressed
Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:08PM
In the last several months, almost everything important to me has been taken away, and I have been in a deep depression. I know that when you're depressed, that's the time you should be calling on God to help you. But most of the time I feel like God isn't there. I used to be so strong in my faith - I just wonder why God is punishing me by taking so much away from me??? How can a so-called kind and just God do this to me?
Rachael
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:09PM
Are you really sure God is not there for you or could it be that you are not listening to what He is trying to tell you? Maybe, just maybe some of what you are going through is because of bad decisions you made and God is simply trying to get you back on track. Please I am not trying to judge you. Go some place quiet and just listen. Listen carefully to that voice that is so quiet you can almost not hear it. A voice that is very calm and reassuring. That is what you need to be listening to.
Pastor Dave
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:10PM
Depressed first I want to say how sorry I am that so much has been going wrong in your life lately. I am concerned that you feel that God has abandoned you. I assure you He has not. God never abandons His children but at times He does all things to happen so that we stop and realize that our lives must be centered around Him. He loves you very much. Turn to Him and open your heart to Him. He already knows everything but He is wanting you to take the first step.

"Do not permit the evils of this world to overcome you, for the Father provides all things necessary to those who are faithful to overcome the evil itself and the Father will not permit you to undergo any trial that is too much for you to bear in your soul. "
Barely Holding On
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:11PM
Pastor Dave, what if nearly every thought is of Jesus and nearly every action is for Him and I can't feel Him with me. My heart is open to Him. Jesus reached down and saved my soul on December 16th 1999 and it was a life changing thing for me. I've dedicated my life to Him and serving Him, but I don't think He cares. I think about suicide every day and I plan how I'll do it. Don't worry, I don't think I'll do it because I don't want to leave my husband and children. They will think I didn't love them and I can't bear the thought of them living with that pain. I don't know how to live with my own pain. I'm barely making it from day to day and every moment gets harder. I trusted God to walk with my, but He's so far away that I'm not sure I can reach Him. I know He is all powerful and He can reach me. I just don't think He wants to.

I guess I'm crying out for help because I need it, but I don't want anyone I know to know this is how I feel. They'll just avoid me because they don't know what to say. Or they'll lecture me that it's my fault that I feel this way. You know - I don't trust enough; I don't pray enough; I don't have enough faith. None of that is true. God is just not near me and I need Him.
Pastor Dave
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:14PM
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Pastor Dave, what if nearly every thought is of Jesus and nearly every action is for Him and I can't feel Him with me.


Barely Holding One, He is nearer to you than you may currently realize. The fact that you are reaching out, that you are calling on Him, is one proof of His presence near you. If He was not near you would not even have the slightest thought of Him.

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My heart is open to Him. Jesus reached down and saved my soul on December 16th 1999 and it was a life changing thing for me.


This is what you should continue doing. Continue allowing your heart to be open to Him. Listen to what He has to say, not what others around you keep saying. He is there to encourage you and to uplift your spirit.

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I've dedicated my life to Him and serving Him, but I don't think He cares. I don't know how to live with my own pain. I'm barely making it from day to day and every moment gets harder. I trusted God to walk with my, but He's so far away that I'm not sure I can reach Him. I know He is all powerful and He can reach me. I just don't think He wants to.


He cares so much for all of His children. He doesn't want to see anyone hurting or in pain, but those things are also a part of every day life. He is not testing us, but the world is putting pressures on us. Our bodies can only take so much of course, but Christ is there for you to give you the needed strength to make it. He wants to reach down to you, and the fact that you have shared these thoughts with others, shows me that He is so very close to you, dear.

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I guess I'm crying out for help because I need it, but I don't want anyone I know to know this is how I feel. They'll just avoid me because they don't know what to say. Or they'll lecture me that it's my fault that I feel this way. You know - I don't trust enough; I don't pray enough; I don't have enough faith. None of that is true. God is just not near me and I need Him.


Remember, it doesn't matter what other people think. As long as your heart is right with Almighty God and you wish to strengthen your relationship with His Son, He will continue to give you strength to make it each day. He is all powerful. He is so much more than any human doctor - He is The Great Physician. His medicine is His Divine Word.

Continuing to cultivate your relationship with God through continual prayer will help strengthen your faith in His presence. He is near you, dear. Nearer than you think. Don't listen to any voices or people who discourage you - you know the types - those who always cut you down or try to say you can't reach a certain goal. Remove negativity from around you as much as possible. Life in God's Way is only encouragement, uplifting of the spirit, and joyous - even though there may be pain or dealing with the world as a whole.

There is hope. Hold on to it. Take Christ's hand. It's right in front of you. He hears your crying, and He is ready to wipe your tears away. Take His hand.
Barely Holding On
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:15PM
I have to believe that He is near, even when I can't feel Him. I've trusted in something that I was convinced was God's will and now it becoming quite obvious that it had nothing to do with God at all. How do you discern something when you feel so completely led, but then you fall flat on your face. Was it God's will or mine? I just feel like I will never be able to trust my feelings for His work again. If something of this enormity flatlined - what is left for me. Where do I go from here? How can I ever trust that I am doing His will again?

I really need some guidance.
Pastor Dave
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:16PM
Cultivating a strong relationship with God can often take a great deal of time in ones lifetime. We never become perfect, and because we're mere human beings, we're going to make mistakes. But He is there to help us put the pieces back together and get up and walk again.

Discerning the Will of God is not something that can be perfected in this lifetime - not while we're in a human body - at least not perfectly. We must develop trust in His Providence. We can't do this on our own. We must have Godly friends around us - those who have walked with God in His Way for many years. Intense prayer - not just asking for something from the Lord, but prayer to praise Him and then to sit and listen. This too takes time and a great deal of patience. Removing negative things from your environment - as far as you're able - will help matters.

When we completely rely on the Lord - He sends us the Holy Spirit and we are not only comforted but also taught that which we need to know. This doesn't mean that we can walk out in the street in front of a bus and think we're not going to be run over, thinking we're going to be told by the Holy Spirit to get out of the way. The Creator has given us common sense... we have to use that gift.

When you have Christ within you, REALLY with you, you can hear His voice and He will teach you. You really have to surrender to Him. When we do this we KNOW He is with us and He is guiding us in the things we need to know for His Will.

Go to the Lord and pray for discernment. Increase your prayers and listen intently to God. But remember, this doesn't happen over night. Ask others to pray for you as well. And if you have the opportunity, pray together. Set aside specific times to read His Word and commune with Him. Be consistent with this practice on a daily basis. Early morning hours are often times best for people with families. This way everyone else might be sleeping while you have an opportunity to read, study and contemplate on God's Word without being disturbed.
Barely Holding On
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:18PM
Pastor Dave,
You give very good advice and I know what you say is right. I surround myself with Christians and have several pastor friends. I have worked in the ministry for about nine years and recently founded a crisis center. I have had great council and after prayerful consideration for four years I decided to move forward. What has happened is not what I envisioned. If God is not the Author of confusion, then I must believe that I have made a terrible mistake in judgement. It would not be so bad if I alone had been affected, but investing so much time, money and resources in something that is not God's will leads me to believe that I am easily fooled. I have always been a manic depressive and some Christians say I must not have a true relationship with Jesus . . . Do you believe that?

If I do not have a true relationship with Jesus then He is not real because I love Him, trust Him, communicate with Him and spend more time thinking about Him than my husband or children. I have absolutely committed my life to Him - yet I still suffer from depression. The doctor calls it a chemical imbalance. Either way, after all the things that have transpired in the last year I question my own motives. Do I serve God because I am trying to fulfil HIs will for my life, or am I simply self indulgent and self centered? If ever anybody had asked me I would certainly and most confidently answer "to do God's will," but lately I am questioning many things about the decisions I've made. And God's will for my life. What if He has no will for me. What if this was never meant to be. What if I've been a waste of time to myself, my family, my friends, my church and mostly to God. What then?

I'm a former women's detention center chaplain. I'm a former hospital chaplain. I minister to people nearly every day. Now I am questioning, how do I minister if I am the one who needs the ministering to? What then?
Pastor Dave
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:21PM
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If God is not the Author of confusion, then I must believe that I have made a terrible mistake in judgement. It would not be so bad if I alone had been affected, but investing so much time, money and resources in something that is not God's will leads me to believe that I am easily fooled.


Dear friend, this is the root of our human efforts in attempting to determine what is and what is not the Will of God. Often times there is trial and error, but a bad situation can sometimes be turned into blessings. I'm not one to try painting a nice picture where there is none, but I do try to hold out hope in almost any situation. No, God is certainly not the author of confusion. Confusion comes when we make human mistakes. But this doesn't mean that God has abandoned us or doesn't hear our prayers. That's why He gave us Christ and the petition of Holy Spirit.

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I have always been a manic depressive and some Christians say I must not have a true relationship with Jesus . . . Do you believe that?


Determining whether you have a good relationship with God is between Him and you alone. The basis of a good relationship is shown to us in His Word the Holy Scriptures, not by what human beings - Christian or not - tell us.

I have spoken with others who deal with manic depression on a daily basis. From what I understand through their sharing of their experiences, is that this is not a "condition" that simply goes away, even with medication. Some have tried to mask various forms of depression over with a lot of activities in their life - whether it's sports, activities with their children or spouse, travel, etc. But that only puts a mask on it. Others take several types of drugs or other medications to deal with this - and while some may be necessary to live a somewhat balanced life in today's world, often times they still only mask the issue and sometimes even cause more problems for the patient.

From those who have shared their experiences with me concerning depression, it is apparent that it doesn't go away over night and that no amount of activities or attempts to keep busy ever really makes it go away. But there are those who have been able to conquer the issue and this is through constant prayer in every waking moment. They have said this has taken anywhere from several months to a few years. Aside from what others have shared with me concerning manic depression, it would not be proper for me to give any "diagnosis" or "treatment" ideas other than what I know has worked for others - and that is prayer and deep devotion to our Lord.

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If I do not have a true relationship with Jesus then He is not real because I love Him, trust Him, communicate with Him and spend more time thinking about Him than my husband or children. I have absolutely committed my life to Him - yet I still suffer from depression.


I believe that the fact you are reaching out shows you have some kind of relationship with God. The fact you suffer from depression is not an indication in any manner at all that you don't have a relationship with Him. Don't let others tell you otherwise. If you had no relationship with Him at all, you would never even have posted on this site. Each and every person goes through various situations in our walk with God - some worse or harder than others. Look at our dear precious brother and sisters in lands where Faith in Christ is outlawed. They are physically tortured, burned, beaten or murdered every day. But because they are going through this various situations does not mean they are not committed to God. Their situation makes their faith stronger, and their commitment to living according to His way even more.

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The doctor calls it a chemical imbalance. Either way, after all the things that have transpired in the last year I question my own motives. Do I serve God because I am trying to fulfill His will for my life, or am I simply self indulgent and self centered? If ever anybody had asked me I would certainly and most confidently answer "to do God's will," but lately I am questioning many things about the decisions I've made. And God's will for my life. What if He has no will for me. What if this was never meant to be. What if I've been a waste of time to myself, my family, my friends, my church and mostly to God. What then?


It is normal for a human being to question themselves. More people should do that actually. Relying totally upon our own understanding or assumptions about any given subject takes us further away from obtaining any true knowledge of God's Will for each of us. Yes, friend, He certainly has a purpose for you. In time, with determination and strengthened faith, I believe you will come to know what that is for you.

Know that God is there for you and in time He will reveal His purpose to you. This isn't some feel good statement from pop psychology. Make these things real in your life. Write down each blessing you have every single day. Praise and thank Him for providing those blessings to you. Be determined to set a schedule for yourself to spend time with God in prayer, alone if at all possible, and wait and listen to His voice.

These feelings won't go away immediately. It takes time, but God is more patient than anything in this universe. Don't try to figure it out by yourself. Let Him speak to you like a best friend who can be trusted with anything. In time, He will provide you with the answers you are seeking.
Barely Holding On
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:22PM
Hi Pastor Dave,

You've been like a friend the last few days and I so appreciate your willingness to listen and not cast judgment. What you've said makes sense and I am feeling better just knowing that someone listened when I felt like I was ready to collapse. You are right. I need to spend more prayerful time alone with God instead of praying while I'm driving or when ever I can squeeze it in. You're right. That is not very committed. You are also right that I try to overcome my depression by staying crazy busy. It seems like I never slow down, but I'm going to look at that and see what I need to change.

Thanks for talking with me. You have a great listening ear.

In Christ,

C
Pastor Dave
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
October 26, 2009 08:23PM
You are more than welcome. There is one thing that I always meditate on and I recommend you and other who read this forum do as well.

Always remember: All Things are in Christ's Hands.

God Bless you!
Sick & tired of it ALL
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
November 22, 2009 10:38AM
I have to say.... I read these posts & just shake my head..... I believe in GOD. I do believe God loves his children. But I often wonder what I have done so wrong that since the day I was concieved I was going to have misery...... Here are the facts.....
1. My parents were 13 & 15 when they had me..... they kept me for a while.... then the state took me away from them!
2. I was in & out of foster homes until I was about 4
3. Adopted by a pastor & his wife ( from the age of 10 - 18,,,, was molested by the pastor)
4. Moved out at 18...... fell for the 1st man that payed attention to me.... Got pregnant & he dumped me.....
5. Moved back in (pregnant) to the pastor's home ( he tried once again)
6. Moved out immediatelly (into a new mans arms, just so I could have a little peace during my pregnancy)
7. He of course ended things after the baby arrived
8. Pastor admits his wrong doings to the family, gets a bit of therapy & everyone forgives him..... His life is fine
9. my sons father wanted me back..... cheats on me repeatedly & gets married behind my back & has a child.... I find out 1 year later
10. I finally after 8 years met someone, a man of "GOD", answer to my prayer...or so i finally thought.... I found him on a christian dating site.... We spent hours together getting to know each other phone, skype, text.....ect.... over the past year..... & about 2 weeks ago everything just fell apart & he told me a women moved in with him because she was being abused...... she was staying in his guest room..... I believed him at first, but then he stopped calling & told me, he would text me when he could..... I said I couldn't take anymore & he basically told me to "TAKE CARE OF MYSELF".... I was once again dimissed!!!

Now I prayed about this every single day for over a year......... I can't pray anymore for anything....... God is NEVER EVER going to give me a loving family.....so I ask you,,,,, why pray? Why ask for any help, if I KNOW...... It is never going to be ok..... FINE..... Thank you for your son's sacrifice (and I truly mean that!!!) But why continue any kind of relationship on a personal level???? God won't help me or bless me with a loving christian husband..... so shouldn't I just let it all go? Stop praying & just say will answer my prayer with the answer NO, every time.....??
clive heath
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
November 23, 2009 11:26AM
Dear Sir,

Can you please help me.

I am loosing my faith as I cannot feel God's love around me, I am a devout and practising Christian and in my own small way see myself as an Evangalist, and I try to help as many folk as a I can.

Yet I cry out to God and I feel nothing, I feel abandoned and let down and alone, despite having a loving family.

This ruining my life and I am beginning to hate myserlf as it must be my fault that the Lord has left me, how can I change this.
Thank You and God Bless Sir

Clive Heath
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
November 23, 2009 06:45PM
Hello,

I am new to this forum. (It seems just what the doctor ordered smiling smiley )

I was very moved by all the offerings from each contributor and to Pastor Dave for his sage advice..very,very helpful.

To those who have had thoughts that God does not love them and looked to suicide as a means to solve the Pain problem, I can tell you form personal experience, that this is the absolute worst "solution" to a problem a person can allow themselves to contemplate, regardless of how bad or grim things may seem at a moment in one's life.

Life has a rollercoaster of emotions: Highs and lows and even in a very deep low, there is a High right around the corner.

I have known what it is like to focus only on what seems like a no win situation and in that moment, decide that suicide was the solution. I have known those who came to that same point and were not so lucky to realize that that grim moment, was just that..only a moment..in a lifetime filled with many diverse moments.

It was only through the help of a servant of Christ that I was able to see that God loved me, especially when it seemed like no one else in the world did. That at my darkest hour, Christ was there.

My problems were not because of Christ not caring, nor coming through for me. My problems came from my not being aware of Him in my life. Or putting what I thought was important before what Holy Spirit was guiding me to do.

It was way to easy to pretend my ego, my racing thoughts or the untrustworthy emotions I was experiencing was my version of listening to the still, small voice. (Honestly, at the time, my life and mind and heart were so chaotic, I had little room to hear that voice.)

When I embraced the Lord, the great comedy was realizing He was already embracing me. That He had never stopped embracing me, even when I had let go at times in my life.

When I started to take my faith more seriously, I gradually stopped placing emphasis on what I wanted from God out of life, and started asking a rare question "What does God want from me?" or more to the point "What does God want for me and for my life?"

The answers were not always what my mind would immediately think.

I started to realize that God is not required to "Come through" for me with a job, or relationship or money, or earthly love or things just because I tell myself those things will make my life better or at least not be so bad. I realize that He came through for me, the moment I was born. He comes through for me in every heartbeat, with every breath of air. That I exist at all..Oh, how He has come through for me everyday.

I started going from feeling elated because of God in my life, to a deepening sense of being unworthy of that love. What was sacrificed for me. What is offered so that I may live...there would never be enough moments in my life to thank and praise God for this. It doesnt mean I will ever stop trying, however.

It is common for people to go through the romance stage of their relationship with God. Alot of people experience that newness of feeling the Lord's presence in their life. But as time goes on, God, I find, starts calling you to perfect your life. To do some serious house cleaning and be a better person who is worthy of that love.

The more we want to hold onto the child like relationship where we expect everything and give nothing in return, the harder it becomes to justify this attitude and the weaker that still voice becomes.

It takes a lot of soul searching, humbling, and saying in prayer "not my will, but Yours, Lord". People think this just comes so easy and it does not. It is a day to day walk. A day to day sacrifice. Sacrificing our wants and needs and desires on the Cross. To be not what we want but to become what God wants us to be.

Sorry if I rambled.

I know what it is like for people to give up you. To think you are serving and hit a wall.

I doubt myself, my action, my choices alot. There is only one choice I never doubt and that was turning to Christ. Some days are better than others. Some days I am a better disciple, some days , not so much.

But, for what it's worth. Don't give up on Christ, no matter what the fallen world throws at you, because He never gives up on you.

Just because there are adversities in life, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't there, because that is a jump you can't take back.

Since God is perfect and if, there are times that I can't feel Him in my life, its not because of a faulty Sender but a faulty receiver. That a weakness on my part to hear that still, small voice, is my weakness, not God's. Then I ask God to remove the obstacles in me that keeping me from hearing Him better. Over, time, step by step, I have noticed noticed I am more and more clear on what Holy Spirit is guiding me to do, and more aware of Christ's presence in my life.

I hope whatever I shared was okay to share. if it helped, praise God, if not, I ask God to remove any confusion it may have cause

God bless
R.W. Schiller
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
June 03, 2010 10:26PM
I have stumbled onto this web site. I was moved by most of the blogs. I am going to start slowly by adding these two biblical quotes: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of God" and "prostitutes and tax collectors are entering the kingdom of heaven...."

Though the second quote is not complete, it along with the first quote make a very basic point: God's judgement and values are very different then ours. God's ability to forgive and love is his very essence; yet, Jesus indicates that those who are spiritually impoverished - in other words, not like God - are worthy of the Kindgom of God. The second quote dovetails into the first quote: God decides who enters the kingdom, not us.

Remember the story of the poor sinner who dared not approach the front of the synagogue. All he could do was beat his breast and say "Have mercy, Lord, I am a poor sinner". Jesus said that this man was "justified". Why? In my opinion, because he looked truth in the face and did not deny it. We are what we are: poor sinners.

All seekers of Our Lord have to face the truth of our spiritual poverty. It is a dreadful thing to see. What is truly too bad, in my opinion, are the legion of Christians who are constantly preaching to other struggling souls that "they must be doing something wrong". Hmm. Where have I heard that one before? Oh, I remember: The Book of Job. Job's friends, unfortunately, were not his friends; they simply liked to hear themselves talk.

I too have struggled mightily for 32 years. I have asked all the same questions blogged here, and I have had the same experiences: doubt, betrayal, etc. All I can say is that I have learned that this is NOT abnormal, and, in fact, this is very normal. This life is a journey, and Christ's life too was marked by the same experiences. Pray. Pray. Pray. There are millions and billions of souls who share the same experiences. We don't call Jesus the Savior for no reason - He is the Savior!!!

Lastly, I want to thank all the persons who were humble and honest enough to share their inner selfs. This is truly a beautiful thing. This is exactly what is going to happen in the kingdom - there will be no secrets, just forgiveness and love.

R.W.
The Forsaken One
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
September 15, 2010 10:36PM
08-18-1992 I was born with a heart problem, if untreated i would have trouble moving around so in 2006 i went into surgery. I came out ok and everything was fine, i started noticing terrible things started to happen all around me when i tried to make my faith stronger my dad would yell at me more and i would get into a lot of trouble at school/home. I found a teacher who helped me get closer to God and i was very thankful i went to church with my mom and prayed a lot. I found out later that my teacher was fired for trying to molest this girl at my school though i never confirmed it with him that what everybody told me. I tried to find answer's for why people always treated me like dirt and why i had to become the bully of my schools just so i wouldn't get talked about. I have tried time and time again to listen to God and his plan for me and it feels like its my mind playin tricks on me i often feel my mind is telling me things i already know. I wanted to find guidance at my church but my church is too big and my pastor doesn't have time for me i would ask God but every time i pray something bad happens to me i obey my parents to the letter and I'll admit its hard to sometimes, sometimes i want to do what i want to do but i still do what they tell me to do and i still get yelled at and falsely blamed fir things i haven't done in a long time my mom constantly calls me a liar my dad doesn't even respect me even though i do everything he says as soon as he tells me my dad doesn't respect me cuz he likes sports and i like video games I think hes mad at me because with my heart i cant play sports, im 6ft4 and can't play Basketball or any other sport It feels like god has givin me a bicycle and tells me i can't ride it I often think about suicide and find myself trying to die but i can't i find myself gettin drunk just to escape i often find myself yellin at my sister because my parents love her 100 times more then me and everything good happens to her and i get all the shit that life can through at me i'm so fucking done with life i just wish that i can be asleep forever, im 18 and im already sick of living. I hate the way people look at me i often find myself gettin into fights and not able to control myself then i black out and i wake up with the other persons blood on my hands and i dont even remember what the hell happened. I often find myself starin at the person in the mirror and hating what i see, so if im made in Gods image then do i hate God if i hate myself?
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
September 16, 2010 03:02PM
Hello, friend!

People in an online forum and the responses given can only be based on what is shared, not on what is not known ,so any opinions or thoughts someone shares are always going to be sort of “Take what works and leave the rest sort of thing”. So, what I share, should be taken with a grain of salt in light of this.

No one except those closest to you can attest to what you are going through though there are many that can relate to much of what you have shared (not necessarily the blacking out part…I would suggest making an appoint with a medical professional to have this checked out, personally).

Having people in your life who don’t come through for you or in the ways you would like is felt by a lot of people.

Having parent’s who don’t understand you is something the majority of teens experience. It seems to get more intense the closer you are to going out into the world on your own.

I have teen sons who are taller than many basketball players and they don’t enjoy sports but do enjoy video games, its all good.

A lot of times those family tensions become the catalyst for starting a new chapter in your life. I am not saying how you feel about your parents and what they are sharing is okay because if it is hurtful then it definitely is not. But this is a brief moment in time, and even difficult times eventually pass.

The issue about you teacher who was accused of something very bad, I would say if the person helped you at one point, keep what works. Whatever happened to them does not pertain to you.

The issue about the Church and the Pastor not having time for you, I would ask the pastor if he would meet with you to discuss the issues currently bothering you in your faith-walk. If the pastor has sound advice, apply it. If not, then you might want to consider finding a new Church that you feel more at home in. Possibly even a home church group where smaller groups meet to worship.

In the Lords Prayer it says “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

If we are seeking God’s forgiveness for those things in life we have done wrong, then we also we need to have the capacity to forgive those in our lives who have wronged us as well. If there are people who have wronged you, try forgiving them and then press forward in life from there.

Regarding taking stuff out on your sister, I would ask God to forgive your outbursts and then ask you sister to forgive your conduct, that it was not really directed at her. Two wrongs don’t make a right and taking out your frustrations on someone weaker or unable to defend themselves never makes a bad situation better, it only makes the problem worse and more widespread. Maybe take the attitude of “The F?#$ stops here” as your motto. That no matter what kind of bad things happen in your life, that you make a personal vow never to pass that kind of pain, hurt or cruelty onto another living soul. That the answer to being the recipient of an evil action is not to share it with others.

If you are looking in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, then you are not seeing the image of the likeness of God. But all the stuff that is covering over the image of the likeness of God in yourself.

You are not seeing the child of God that you are, but either the bully, or the victim, anything other than what you are.

Suicide is never the solution because all the stuff you seek to run away from on the other side, you have to deal with all at once and if you think it is difficult to manage here, it doesn’t compare to having to deal with it in the land of the dead.

It is easier to get right with God on this side of the veil while you’re here. The people who decide to end it all, usually find out that the passion to leave the pain of this world, leads them into a much worse situation.

There is nothing that you can’t work through here with faith, prayer and patience. Pray for those things that are not right in your life. Praise God for all the things that are right in your life…pretty basic stuff. And overall Love God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as your self. Yeshua taught this. Treat others with the love, respect and goodwill that you would like to receive in your life and you will not have an enemy in this life, not among the virtuous anyway…among those who aren’t? They will have to answer to God, for that, themselves. That is the teaching of the Apostles to the Disciples.

It was true then, it is true now and it will be true tomorrow.

Don’t hate yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive those around you. God loves you greatly or you simply would not exist. Each moment is a choice. Choose to not be a victim and choose not to make anyone else a victim either.

These are only my thoughts, however. Take what works and leave the rest.

I encourage you to speak to your parents, your pastor, your sister and both to a counselor and a doctor for the blackouts.

Explain how your feeling, what you have been going through, moreover, seek God in prayer by studying His Word daily. Try to follow the Lord in your day to day walk to the best of your ability.

You will see and experience an improvement in conduct of others because they will see and experience an improvement in your conduct.

May God bless you
Frantic and Confused
Has God left me?
September 27, 2010 09:20PM
Pastor Dave,

All of a sudden I feel as if though maybe God does not think of me as one of His chosen. Suddenly, I am beggining to feel as if God is not there anymore. As if though maybe he never meant for me to follow his path. That perhaps it is just me trying to find a higher purpose for my life. I am beggining to question His exhistance. I am beggining to think that God doesnt love me anymore. Otherwise, why would i feel like this. I have been a christian for a little over 2 yrs. But i dont want to believe that. I want to be sure of my love for him as i once was. Perhaps I never was, and I just convinced myself that I was. Maybe there is no God. Please HELP!!!
Renske
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
November 06, 2010 04:31AM
I'm a former pastors wife, got dumped, my three children one was a baby have been taken from me and i don't believe
In god anymore he does nothing for me he left me i lived together with someone who was also dumped, repented from it and just see him occasionally as a friend, I was seeing the children more and now i must work 4 days and see them only once a week because ex husband wants alimony and he first gave them 3 times a week I smoked a joint and called him to say he was a lyer and that he could get 50 euro for everyday i can see the kids i don't believe in god anymore i. Believe he exists and left me last year i tried to commit suicide shit it didnt work now im forced to live without seeing my children so they wont get a trauma my dream to serve God is broken husband was chatting with a religious girl that broke up the marriage when i take drugs i get even. Crazier weell who cares about the children or me. Noone even not god i
Harmony
Re: Has God left me?
December 02, 2010 05:57PM
God cannot stop loving you he sent his only son to die for you that how important YOU are to him. Even if we stop believing in him, he still believes in us. I dont believe however that once faith is truly found it can ever leae us. Sometimes we have questions but they are only questions and not a lack of faith. Beacuse after all why would we question god if we didnt believe in him? we may as well ask fairys for answers if we are going to questions things we are not sure exist! Truth is when we feel God has left us its becuase we think we have done something to make him leave. This is soo not true if we have done somthing bad that we think would make him turn from us he knew we would do it before we even did it and he loved us then rite. Eveyone these days is looking for a higher purpose! yet God makes it clear that even the smallets thing is the biggest to him. You dont need to save an entire country to have a great and worthy purpose in life, you just need to smile at that old lady walking past you whos husband just died and has had no human effection since his death! God pulls away from us only so we get off our butts and find him, not because he doesnt love us GOD IS LOVE how could he stop being who he is?
Harmony
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 02, 2010 05:58PM
I know its been years since this was posted i just want to say tho. I went through a time where i lost everything also friends, my home, family you name it, it all happened in the space of a month. I asked why the world had turned on me why God had left me to suffer and was not even speaking to me. I got angry with God i know he is ment to take care of his children so why was i alone!! The next few months proved that he knew better than i with what he had planned for my life. God gave me new friends who had faith and didnt hate my beliefs. He changed my familys hearts and turned them into brand new people as if he had turned a switch on in them to reset. He gave me a brand new house that i had only ever dreamed of, he gave me a husband and children. And, well, Amen i know now that he was only moving the things i no longer needed out of my life to make way for the blessings i was about to receive. Sometimes God takes things away we thort we needed in order to prove all we ever need is him.
Harmony
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 02, 2010 06:12PM
Detroying you is not going to hurt him its only going to hurt what you care about most... your children. You are better off without a cheating husband but your children will not be better off without you. Sometimes if we cant pull it together and be strong for ourselves we must be strong for our children. You must believe in God because you have come here to seek answers from him thro other people. People do care about you i dont know you and i bloody care about you. Children always want to come home TRUST ME my daughter lived with her dad untill she told him she wanted to live with me TRUST ME they always want their mums in the end. And thats the moment you need to prepare for by being sober and loving yourself, nothing upsets a man more than an ex wife who is doing well for herself. LOVE YOU then pass that love to your children by showing them how one cares for ones self.
Harmony
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 02, 2010 06:33PM
Can i just make a suggestion (i know this was a year ago and your no doubt doing great now) but when i went through depression it lasted for 4 years then God just pulled me out of it. When i went to church i found soo many people were suffering from it and when i spoke about my past experiance with them i wasnt speaking as someone who didnt understand i was someone who did know their state inside and out. Then when my testimony helped them i realised that the past 4 years or suffering were not in vain beacuse i could truely help these people in a way others who had not been through it could not. So in saying that i believe the final cure for depression (in order to keep it away) once one has come through it, is to use your testemony to help others. And never be ashamed of the path God has taken you down cause at first i was and didnt want to talk to others about it until i realised how much it helped people to know that they are not alone. I thank God for 4 years of depression for without it i wouldnt have been liveing proof to others that there is an end to it.
harmony
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 02, 2010 07:33PM
Lol iv come to the conclusion that iv been through every problem on this page THANK GOD IV HAD A MESSED UP LIFE!! Dear Forsaken One i too have had fits of uncontrollable rage where other girls on town have bore the rath of my very being. It didnt stop until i got arrested for glassing a girl and was in deep SHIT (all before i found God of course). i came to the realisation that if i didnt learn to controll it, it could verywell take another persons life and land me in jail for good. When i found God i realised i wasnt angry at all i was a scared frightend person who would rather hurt someone before they hurt me. I spent so much time fighting to protect my heart and locking all feelings of love away because no one else seemed to care about them (i know now why God says some people have a HARD heart). So very long story short i relaised the person i didnt like was me, not the rest of the world so God said to me "What are you going to do about it?" i had two options 1 continue to hate who i was or 2 let him change me (High 5 option 2!) i knew this was going to be hard but i trusted God not to give me too much at once and he didnt. We started off small first by little things. like one day i went to the movie store and the lady there was sooo rude to me just as i was about to open my big fat mouth and give her the abuse of a lifetime God said to me "Do you know what sort of day this poor lady has had?" i didnt know but i knew she was taking it out on me. God said "let her" oh hell no lord this women needs the ripping of a lifetime and you know im just the person to do it! God said "Did i ripp you for your wrongs?" um no you didnt lord "Then take your movies, bless her and by the way SMILE at her" so with my most unnatural smile,(that looked more like something out of a horror moive) i smiled at her thanked her and said "have a nice day" . It was so hard but we started small with little things like that and after doing it more and more it became more natural to me. When you find faith you relaise how crule the people in the world are to you more than usual. The bible has it rite "The world will hate you" . Loving myself was the hardest part of it all i found it easier to love others but when i did that an awsome thing happened they LOVED ME BACK their love for me helped me love me becuase 10 people who think your worth loving cant be wrong. Anyhow where you are concerned you dont need you parents approval or sports for that matter becuase you have Gods appoval to life and thats the highest appoval one can receive. If i look at my life and think how bad it was and that i need a way out i miss the point that all my experiances were a way IN to life and people hearts. You are still very young and God has so much more to give you if you let him. Yes we are made in his image but he also knows what we are made of "dust". i suggest starting small with him next time you are accused of something you didnt do remember God blesses those who are wrongfully accused and next time you are called a lier remember God knows you didnt lie and bless mum and dad even if they are in a fit of rage at you. Trust me when i say "God bless you" to my husband when he is pissed about something he stops and looks confused at ...why has she just blessed me?. Im telling you he looks confused because he realises his actions dont warrent a blessing yet he got one anyways its funny to watch. Anyhow much respect for ya LIVE, LOVE, PLAY becuase we all may only have today.
Swati
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 05, 2010 12:25PM
God I am sure never abandons anyone.Trust me but I am going through same phase as you are ,losing thing that I had. But I can feel Go's presence near me. May this is just a part of life. You can't always live a life as you want.And how would you value happy times and blessed times if this phase doesn't come.And I have been living with the belief that everything would again be fine and it has made me cope well with these times.So be brave,keep your faith on almighty and trying times would end soon bringing more meaning to your life.Use this phase of your life for introspction rather than getting depressed.All will be well.thumbs up
Wandering ALone
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
December 21, 2010 04:02AM
I feel your pain, the pain of being left wandering alone in the wilderness, waiting for the wolf to eventually devour you. No hope, loss of faith, cold and empty, frustrated and even angry. We look up and ask our Father to see our pains, see the storms that have come into our lives and wait for something, some word from Him telling us it will be alright. Nothing seems to come. Weeks drag in to months and then years. If God has left me, why? If God doesn't see me anymore, WHY? Still we hang onto Him, with the weakest of hope that He still hears us and will eventually bless us with some peace and comfort from these hurtful storms that seem to beat us against the rocks.

I love Him, believe in Him but struggle now with my own feelings as well as my faith. Hanging on by a thread, but still hanging on. I remember quotes like..."it rains on the just and the unjust" and try to figure out which i am. But does it really matter because I am getting wet regardless of which one i might be. In this world do we ever escape this battle between God and Satan? No, I don't think we ever do until the war is over. This spiritual battle. That's what it's all about after all. Trying to be the best Soldier for God that I can be and failing as my wounds never seem to heal from the last battle I went through. Not wanting to cross to the other side, but feeling as though the other side is winning in destroying everything I am fighting for. Alone in the wilderness, I feel I am always wandering alone anymore, wanting to lay down and let the wolf devour me but something keeps me from doing so. Something keeps me hanging on to that last shred of hope, telling me to continue fighting the battle. I am tired as well, like many of you in this forum. Worn out from crying myself to sleep, exhausted from praying and pleading with God to tell me He that He does still love me. Saved 12 years ago and felt so alive and on fire with the Spirit and love of God, but now the fire has turned to embers and even those are cooling quickly. My dad told me that once you find the Lord, your battle will begin in life, but you will have hope as you didn't have before. You have joined God's army and the battles will be many in this world and that is exactly what I feel like. That I am a worn out, tired soldier with scars from past battles and new wounds that barely get a chance to mend when another one comes into my life. No rest, no peace, no warmth from the storms and this rain.

I don't understand any of it anymore, but something keeps me going when I want to lie down and quit. It's God that keeps me going, the spirit that gives me the strength to do so when I myself am weak and want to quit. I cry in frustration of it all. I pray for all of you with your storms and pains and heartaches that you will continue to hold on as well and fight this fight to the end. We may not ever understand many things in this world and the whys of it all, but one day we will have those answers and the rest and peace we seek. After all....this life isn't Heaven, it isn't our final home but a pass through isn't it? I can only imagine Heaven as obviously I have never been there, but yes I have even questioned that it exists sometimes. But I would rather imaging Heaven then to never imagine a life with peace and abundant love and joy. This all HAS to mean something and this fight has to have a reward in the end. I am sure it does.

I found this place tonight because I typed in "Why has God left me" and I find I am not alone with that question, sadly. But at least I am not absolutely alone in the pain I suffer as well, which in a a strange way also comforts me. I didn't talk about any of the details in my life because it's irrelevant to me to do so.. Pain is pain regardless of how it's inflicted....bottom line?...it still cripples us in one way or many., but I can relate to many of your storms/heartaches and my heart goes out to you. I wish I had some solid answers to give you, something that will give your minds and hearts comfort as well....but like you...I am only human and struggle each day with finding it for myself.
R. W Schiller
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
March 19, 2011 01:57PM
Your story is very, very common. Thank you for your honesty. Following Christ is not an event, it is a journey. There are several historical figures that have went through the exact "darkness" that you are going through. I have too, and I still am. I live by faith but often that is still not consoling. It is great to have honest souls to share your stories with. There are way too many "Christians" that want to pile on all their remedies, but they only make things worse. Christ suffered, and he asked us to follow him. Look at the entire world. There is a ton of darkness out there. Many, many people - even children - never know a moment of joy. Be on their side. It is the same side Christ is on.
brother manny
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
March 21, 2011 02:49AM
All these things that have happened to you in your life are terrible and im sorry. I had a bad life growing up to i was born into drugs and alcahol. I was also molested as a child.I always ask wy and I always though how could God allow these things to happen to me. You know i came to find out that it wasent Gods falt or my parents fault or the person who molested me. I found out that it was because of Adom and Eve when they did what God told them not to do sin entered the world,and there came the fall of man but not the fall of God.When i learned this i understude that i had to love those that hurt me and pray for them,because while i had all that remorce for them it was separating me from God.As hard as it may be God tels us to love even our enemies.

I pray that God helps you forgive those that hurt you and that you will pray for them to be liberated from there sin.
I also pray that you understand that its not Gods fault that you and I went ,and are still going through troubles.
I want you to know that God loves you and He does want to help you,and He does want to change your life.
The bible says ask and BELIEVE and thow shall receive. Ask and believe He will change your life,He changed mine and is still working on me.
I have been drug free for 7 years ,God put my family back together. God can do anything ,but you must BELIEVE. I love you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. If God doesnt love us then why did He give His son to die for us. Be still and know that He is God
Lion Of Grace
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
March 28, 2011 01:44AM
Wow! Thanks! I just typed in "God I Need You!" and arrived at this site. I have been struggling for weeks now with depression and that has concerned me as I had overcome it before and was free of it. I really feel like I've been barely hanging on and have been struggling with one obstacle after another. The curve balls never seem to stop coming! Today, after church service, I went back to my seat to get my Bible and a thread was laying on it! I wondered where it came from and puzzled over it for the day. Then I read about other people's lives and about hanging on by a thread and realized...that's me!
This too shall pass and I'm deeply encouraged! Sometimes, God's still small voice comes through another person....so thank you! Thank you for the encouragement to keep going....to keep on the path.... and to persevere.
May God bless you abundantly!
CWMN
Re: Why Has God Left Me?
May 06, 2011 11:11PM
Ok, I get it. I'm not the only one suffering and depressed.

Here's the issue I struggle with still though: What should I believe. What is the Truth? God exists, yes. Jesus was the Son of God who died on the cross for our Sins, Yes. Born of the Virgin Mary? Um...ok. Angels exist? Ghosts, spirits? Astrology is Bad? Homosexual behavior is Bad? How bad? Bad as Lying? Bad as Greed? Or only Semi-Bad? Or is it not Bad and people who think it is Bad are all just a bunch of homophobics? If I believe in ESP is that bad? What if I believe in ESP because I've experienced it, does that make me Bad? Is talking to Spirts bad? Is talking to someone who talks to Spirts bad? Is my life preordained? That opens a heck of a lot more questions right there. Does God have a Plan for my Life? Then why not tell me? I've asked; hell, I've pleaded for Him to clue me in. But I'm still clueless. What the heck is the point in that? I mean, if the idea is for all of us to go out and do Gods will, then why doesn't He let us know what He wills for us? Or are we suppose to guess? It's a game? If I shoot a priest for molesing children is it worse than shooting a convience store clerk for a pack of cigarettes? Or are they the same? If this is all a game, I need to know the rules....Knock and the door shall open....Really? I've knocked and knocked and yes, at times I've felt His Presence. Briefly. A glimmer. Tell me this, what's with all the clock and dagger routine..so we build Faith? Why does God assure us many times He'll be there for us and never will forsake us but then He makes it so difficult for us to cut through all the bullshit and know what to believe. I'm willing to take the narrow path but there are multiple narrow paths; how do I know which one leads to Truth?
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